Therapeutic Purposes, I assure you
by morethanjustausername
Summary: 2000th Gorillaz story on archive! Murdoc gets tired of 2D's accent and decides to take him to a speech therapist, with unexpected results. Complete, sequal/continuation to be published soon! :D Thank you all for being such awesome readers and reviewers! :DD
1. Lost and found and lost again!

**Hey! This story is Gorillaz fanfic #2000!**

**I thought of this a little while ago when I was practicing my accents, and decided it must be done. I hope you agree! This story takes place when 2D and Murdoc are at KONG, and Russel and Noodle are at a month-long chili-fest. Just thought I'd clear that up. Vote on my poll!**

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I sat slouched on the faded green sofa, staring intently at the television in front of me. I clutched the scratched-up remote tightly in my hands, slowly turning up the volume. I stole an annoyed glance at the singer sitting beside me. I had made the mistake of asking the teenager what he wanted to watch, and was now regretting it.

'Is he _still_ talking?' I thought, my lip curling up slightly.

The singer had taken my simple verbal prompt and turned it in to an extensive one-sided conversation. First he stated his opinion on the selection of channels KONG received, then told me all (and I mean even the ones that he watched as a child, and were long since cancelled) the shows he liked. Now he was talking about the programmes he did not wish to view, and why.

'Geez.' I thought 'What is with this kid?'

2D was a strange kid. He would barely talk for days, even months. Then, at a completely random moment, he would jabber on about something. Half way through this exchange, he would seem to realize he talking, and abruptly end the conversation. The calmer residents of KONG were used to 2D's unpredictable bouts of conversation, and tried to carry them on for as long as they could. My approach of ignoring the singer was unappreciated by Noodle and Russel, while 2D didn't actually seem to care.

At this moment especially, 2D's warbley voice was only annoying me more. I turned the volume up a little higher, but the little twit's high voice insisted on breaking through. I gave up on the show I was watching, and started to actually listen to the singer (who continued to talk). I scrunched up my nose.

He was practically butchering the english language! Normally I would give him a pat on the back for such an accomplishment, but my mind just reeled at his atrocious accent. It was almost as bad as that nob Albarn's. I listened in a bit.

"..An' I don' rea'y like t'ose shows' about scarin' the shite ou'a 'elpless blokes. They don' evah even see it comin'! I woul' 'ate to..."

I tuned out again. He really couldn't talk properly, could he? It didn't really affect his singing voice, but I could barely stand it when he talked to me, rare as it was. Then it hit me. Where do you take someone to fix how they talk? (LIGHTBULB!)

"Oy faceache!" I yelled, interrupting his mini-rant.

He seemed a little shocked, and his mouth snapped shut. I could almost see the excited glow leave his face. Oops.. heh heh.. Don't tell Noodle.

"Get yer shite together, we're heading out!" I snapped.

The singer nodded, and ducked his head down. He shuffled off like a zombie, and I couldn't help snigger at the irony. 2D the zombie. Has a nice ring to it, yeah? The little twit had obviously gone into his 'quiet mode' again, and it would be all hell trying to get him to take part in what I had planned for him.

The twit in mention appeared near the couch again, and wordlessly alerted me of his presence.

"If anyone asks, faceache, I'm yer dad. Kapeesh?" I asked him, only to get his typical nodded reply.

I lifted my bones off the couch and turned the telly off. The teen still stood there, staring at me with his wide, black, puppy-eyes. I brushed my jeans off, and sniffed my shirt. Feh. Clean enough. I did a once over at 2D, and upon realizing that his clothes were undoubtedly cleaner than mine, I walked out of the room. Starting down the adjoining hall, I glanced behind to see if my 'son' was following me. He was, of course, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he got lost or something.

I briefly wondered what he had done when he left the room. What had he gotten? He still wasn't wearing a jacket, and he had shoes on when he left. Maybe he had gotten his wallet? He sure wouldn't need it where we were headed.

We turned down the hall to the main upstairs lobby, and walked to the lift. I stopped next to it, and waited for 2D to catch up. He walks pretty slow, despite his long legs. I think that maybe he's paranoid of tripping over his feet. The bigger they are, the farther they...umm... something.. Anyway, I pressed the 'down' button on the control panel, and a whirring sound resulted. 2D stared intently at the lift. He seemed to do that a lot, and I always wondered if he was like, willing it to explode or something. I thought of asking, but I doubt he would give me a good answer.

The lift arrived with a quiet 'ping' and the doors shuddered open. I walked forward and stepped in. The lift doors closed and I pressed a button marked 'car lot' on the panel. The button was sticky, and difficult to press. I immediately thought of 2D, and how he had probably found a way to spill juice on it or something. Wait... 2D! Where was he?

Okay...mental checklist:

- I got to the lift.. [x]

- 2D got to the lift.. [x]

- I pressed the button.. [x]

- Lift arrived and doors opened.. [x]

- I got in the lift.. [x]

- 2D got in the lift.. [ ]

2D never got in the lift! So was he still standing in front of it? I knew he was spacey, but _that _spacey? Apparently so. I looked at the lift panel and pressed the button marked 'Kitchen-TV room-Beer closet'. The lift stopped abruptly and switched directions, making me hit my head on the single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.

"Sodding lift.." I mumbled.

The lift or 'elevator' as the American blokes say, continued up for about half a minute, stopping occasionally to sputter or make cracking sounds. It jolted to a stop, and made another 'ping' sound. The doors opened revealing...

Nothing.

Where was he?! He could **NOT** be left alone in this place! At least not without Russel or Noodle home. I wondered if he snapped out of his daze and went looking for me, or perhaps purposely didn't get on the lift. I looked to the left and right of the lift, and scanned the adjacent hallways. He was absolutely nowhere to be found.

"OY! FACEACHE!" I shouted.

Silence.

"GET YOUR ARSE OVER HERE...NOW!" I shouted again.

More silence.

"Dammit..." I mumbled.

Where was he? I started to get worried, despite myself. If anything happened to him, Russel and Noodle would kill me, and feed my remains to the zombies! I was getting a little worked up now, but I realized that 2D was not going to just impale himself on a knife, or feed himself to the zombies. He loved life too much for that. Well.. he _was_ a pretty wierd kid. Maybe he was waiting for me in the car lot? Yeah, that was probably it.. I hoped..

I was about to enter the lift again, but decided against it. I walked down the hallway next to the lift, and stood at the foot of the stairs. I stepped down the first few stairs, and quickly ran down the rest... Ok, ok. I lied. I actually took the first step, then fell down the rest. Don't tell anyone! Anyway, once I got to the bottom of the stairs I brushed myself off and inspected my elbow. On the way down I had somehow managed to hit it pretty hard. It was not bleeding, thankfully.

I quick-jogged out of the stair-well. I could hear my heart thumping in my ears, deep, like it was playing a bass guitar of its own. I took a few gulped breaths, and jogged around the corner. The Winnebago was parked in one of the shadowy corners of the lot, as far away from 2D's room as possible. I dashed over to my Winne, and jiggled the door knob. It was locked, so 2D wasn't in there. Maybe he was in his room?

I glanced over at his room from the 'Bago, and rolled my eyes. So now I had to walk _all_ the way over there? My life sucks. I decided that the quicker I found him, the better. I would find him, smack him upside the head, then drag him to the Geep. I jogged over to his room, and leaned up against a wall next to the door. Once I caught my breath, I knocked on his door.

"Er... you decent, faceache?"

No answer.

I shoved open the door, and almost tripped over one of his keyboards. I glanced around his room. He was not in his bead. I stuck my head in the bathroom, and the only thing I found was his toothbrush stuck to the sink. I would complain, but I am really in no position to talk about hygiene.

So where was 2D?

I was suddenly struck with an idea so obvious, I wanted to kick myself. I could call his mobile!That must have been what he had gotten when he left the room! I patted my front and back pockets for my mobile, but only found a pack of lucky lungs. Damn, must have left it in the Geep! I fast-walked to the Geep, and vaulted over the door. I landed with a thud on the seat, and a pen sitting on it. Long story short, I got stabbed in the arse.

I yanked open the glovebox, and shuffled around the receipts and CD's. No mobile. I checked the consel. Still nope. Aha! I remembered that the last time I had been in the Geep, I was drunk. So Russel had to drive, meaning my mobile was probably in the back! I turned around and looked in the back seat, and nearly had a heart attack!

2D was sprawled out on the seat, one of his feet resting on the open frame. His head was propped up on an armrest, and one of his hands was resting on his chest, while the other had fallen to rest on the ground. His chest was rising and falling evenly.

He was sleeping. I WAS SEARCHING ALL OVER FOR HIM AND HE WAS SLEEPING!? I lowered my head next to his ear.

"2D YOU STUPID GIT WAKE UP!" I hollered, and quickly backed up.

2D's head snapped up and he screamed. He kicked up his knee, and smacked himself on the lip. The teen stopped screaming and went rigid, his azure bangs covering his eyes. A small stream of blood trickled down his lip, and he slowly reached out a hand to it. He wiped his lip, and moved his hand away. He looked at it, then looked up at me. This action moved his hair away, and I could see that his eyes were impossibly wide. His gaze shifted from me back to his hand, and he wiped at his lip again.

"Owww..." he whimpered, and looked at me with wide, black, puppy-dog eyes.

His lip was still bleeding profusely, and showed no signs of stopping. It dripped down his chin, and was slowly making a trail down his neck. I realized that if it stained his shirt, we would have to go to his room and change it, and I might lose him again. I broke his gaze and turned around to the glovebox, rifling through it for a napkin. Finding one, I held it out to him, but he just stared at his hand.

I rolled my eyes (again) and reached out with the napkin. When I got the napkin on his lip, 2D twitched and came back to reality.

"Can you hold the stupid napkin? I have to grab a few more. Or is that too hard fer ya?" I said, but it came out more vicious than I intended.

He quickly nodded, and took the napkin from me, and held it on his lip. I grabbed another.

"Okay, now you take this one and get the stuff that's on yer neck, and I'll hold the one on yer lip. Comprende?" I asked.

He considered the spanish part for a bit, and switched napkins with me. He dabbed at the blood on his neck, and I held the napkin on his lip. Lucky for me, none got on his shirt. I removed the napkin from his lip, and waited for a bit. No more blood came out, and I nodded, satisfied. I wrapped the two napkins in a third, and tossed the on the passenger seat.

"Wot took ya so long? I couldn' find ya, so I walk'd to te' Geep and wai'ed, for like, an hour or somfink!" 2D said.

I pulled they key out of my pocket and put it in the ignition. Sighing, I turned it and looked in the mirror.

"You spaced out again, and didn't get in the lift. I didn't notice until it was halfway down, so I went looking all over the place for you, ya dullard!"

I remembered what had initially brought me to the Geep, and decided to use it against him.

"Why didn't you call me' mobile?"

"I did," he replied, not missing a beat. "It's in te' cup holder."

"Huh. So it is."

2D had me there.

"Well then. Buckle up, we're heading out!"

2D sat up, and did up his seatbelt.

"Can I sit up in te' front?" he asked hopefully.

"Well of course. NOT! Hrmhrmrh hrmhrmr.."

He huffed and crossed his arms, giving me an irritated look. I rolled my eyes and started the car. We sped out the car park towards the tall metal gates marked "KONG". Before we left completely, I tossed 2D's bloody napkins to the zombies, and earned a horrified look from the twit himself.

"Would _you_ rather eat 'em?" I asked, and he gagged.

"That's what I thought." I mumbled.

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**Hey! Gorillaz fanfic #2000! OMG!**

**I have a few more chapters written out, so review! I need at least 5 reviews to continue. At least.**


	2. A Wake up call?

**Hey! I finally understand Murdoc. I played the game where you drive the Geep around the 19/2000 set, and it is so hard! I really loved it though, especially the jumps and the church I drove through. Anywho, please be forgiving of my crappy transitions, I wrote this story as a big oneshot, but it got way too long. Vote on my poll or perish!**

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The car ride was slow and uneventful. 2D fell asleep almost as soon as the car left the gates of KONG. It was actually kinda funny! He was still giving me wierd looks and glares about the whole 'feeding napkins with 2D's blood on them to the zombies' thing, but he eventually quieted down. I watched him from the rear-view mirror. His eyes would droop, then he would jump like he had been electrocuted. He did this a few times, and then his eyes closed, and didn't open again. He looked so relaxed...But there was _NO_ way I 'awwwed' a little. Nope. Not at all.

We arrived in the shopping district, and I stopped at the lights. I saw a sign with the names of a few stores on it, and read them in my head.

'La La Lime's, Sam's pharmacy, Goldberg Therapies, Liam's wholesale...'

That was the lot I wanted. I turned left at the lights, and pulled into the lot. I cruised the parking lot looking for a spot, and found one in front of a store Noodle liked. I locked the Geep. 2D was still sleeping in the back, his seatbelt still buckled up.

"Oy 2D, wake up!" I half-yelled.

He did not stir. It was nearly 1:30 and he was still asleep! Even _I_ had resisted falling asleep on the ride, mainly because I was the one driving. I did not want a repeat of the last time I woke him up roughly, so I devised a different, less messy plan. I stepped over the glovebox into the back seat area, and hovered over 2D. His arms laid limply on his lap, and his head resting on the rollcage. I put my arm in front of his chest and kicked his toe lightly.

As expected, he woke up with a start, and his knees jerked up hitting my arm. Better that then his face again. He stopped flailing almost immediately after he hit my arm, his eyes getting wide.

"Ohmygod! I mean Satan! I mean- I didn' mean tha' in a bad way! I jus'- I didn' mean to! I- Sorry! Sorry! Sor-!" he stuttered out.

I raised my hand, and he flinched. Did he think I was going to hit him?

"Geez, ya twit. It's okay. I'm fine." I said.

"Y-yew are?" he questioned.

"Did ya seriously think a weak lil' hit like that _hurt_ me?" I guffawed.

"No..I guess not.."

I had meant to do that, and his reaction was exactly as I had predicted. Ah children...so predictable.

"Well, we're here, so get out of the car!"

He nodded feverishly and tried to get up, and I almost fell over laughing at the shocked look that was etched into his features when he couldn't. He still had his seatbelt on. I laughed loudly and had to grab the rollcage of the Geep to keep steady. 2D's fingers worked the seat buckle, and a satisfying little 'click' was heard, followed by the whirring of the seatbelt sliding back into place.

He stood up quickly, and was about to step on the driver's seat to get out, but caught my disapproving glare. He slowly retracted his foot and turned to the opposite side of the Geep, where I was standing. In one quick move he placed his hands on the frame and vaulted out of the Geep. If I had not ducked, one of his hi-tops might have rearranged my jaw structure. The movement of him jumping was graceful and sleek, but his landing stunk worse than my socks.

The teenager landed on one foot, and managed to use it to trip his other foot, sending him sprawling to the ground. Well, not _quite_ to the ground. I saw this coming and shot my arm out again, and held him up. Both of his arms were latched onto mine, and it took me a second to pry him off. He gave me a grateful smile, and brushed off his shirt. I'm a hero! I rescued the defenceless child from the mean, scary ground, and now he owes me his soul! Bwahahaha! No, just kidding. But I really could use an extra soul right about now...

I shoved the singer towards the therapy offices, and waited for him to regain his balance. We walked next to each other down the sidewalk to the therapeutic offices. 2D eyed the signs on store windows and doors, occasionally reading one silently. I'm not all too sure myself why he does this, but he always, and I mean always, looks at the signs. I think he is looking for something, or someone, but I could be wrong. Don't ever try to understand that kid. I tried, and gave up.

We passed by a place called 'La La Limes' that Noodle shops at, and a place called 'Liam's wholesale'. The Limey place seemed like a rather expensive store, and I was proud of Noodle for having expensive taste. That was way better than having cheap taste. We had a world-famous band, and need to look our best..well, _I _looked good in everything.

2D stared at the food in the wholesale store, and I could almost hear him fighting with himself over whether to eat it or not. Anorexic little twit. Am I saying that a lot? Well, too bad. He _is_ a twit..so.. I'm gonna call him that (neiner neiner). Anyway, we were nearing Goldberg Therapies, and I took a quick glance at 2D. He was looking at his feet, and seemed to be counting his steps.

"Whatchya doin' there dullard?" I asked.

"Four'e fiv- Wai' wha'?" he said, stumbling over both his feet, and his words.

"What are you doin'? Counting yer steps?"

"Y-yeah. 'ow did ya kno'?" he said, sounding almost embarrassed.

"I can see ya, mate. Yer staring at yer feet, and yer lips are moving. Why are ya counting?"

"A-ah don' kno'.. I jus' do sometimes." he replied quickly.

It seemed like he had a longer answer, but didn't want to talk to me.

"Whatever." I said, giving up on figuring it out.

2D looked back down at his feet, and silently counted his steps. I hoped I made him lose count with my little interruption, even though his counting really didn't affect me in any way. We walked up to Goldberg Therapies, and I turned to the door. I pushed it open and turned to 2D..Well, I turned to where I thought 2D was. He wasn't there! How many times do I have to lose this kid in one day!? I tuned around and walked back out, the door shutting behind me.

I looked to my right, and didn't see him. Turning to my left, I saw 2D walking in the same direction we were, before I entered the clinic. I think he was too busy counting his steps to notice that I stopped, and he was_ far_ too busy to notice he was about to walk into a lamppost.

***CLUNG***

I shielded my eyes with my hand. I did _not_ know him. I looked at 2D, and sniggered a bit to myself. He was sprawled out on he sidewalk, his legs spread out, and he was holding his head. I could almost picture the little tweety-birds circling his head. I jogged up to him, and pulled him up.

"C'mon little jellyfish, move your tentacles.." I told him.

He looked up at me with a disoriented, but happy expression. I had been saying that little phrase to him pretty much the whole time I had known him, mostly when he hurt himself. It was all I could say to prevent myself from laughing at him, or further injuring him, which was a lot. 2D shakily got to his feet, and brushed off his butt. I put my hand on the small of his back, and led him to the therapy centre.

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**Don't worry, theres more. Just review, and I promise to post! It's really not the most difficult thing in the world, so hop to it!**


	3. Another disaster!

**Heyy! Chapter 3! I hope you like it, and thank you for bothering to read the authors notes! Vote on my poll pleae, and read my other stories!**

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We entered the office and a woman at a big, white desk looked at me for a moment.

"May I help you, sir?"

I walked across the thick tan carpet to her desk, motioning for 2D to sit down on one of the yellow plush chairs by the door. He sat down, and picked up a magazine sitting on a table next to a few children's toys. I watched him flip thru it for a bit, then brought my attention to the thin woman at the desk. She was almost as thin as 2D, with wrinkled skin and greying hair. Her ice blue eyes locked with my mismatched ones for a moment. I guessed that she was in he early sixties.

"Er, yes ma'am. I read on your website that you have speech therapy here, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir. We do. The doctor is taking patients now, so are you here for yourself?" she asked.

"Naw. I'm here for my er..son. He's sitting over there." I said, pointing my thumb at 2D.

The receptionist looked over her desk at 2D, then back to me.

"You will need to fill out these papers for him. When you are done, give them back to me." she said, and produced a few papers from her desk, along with a pen.

I muttered a quick 'thanks' and sauntered over to 2D, who was now (with great difficulty) piecing together a children's puzzle. I rolled my eyes, and sat down next to him. He slid the last piece in with a look of triumph, and finally noticed me. He smiled, a silent signal telling me he was listening. I started to fill in the sheet.

**Name of patient: ****Stuart Niccals**** (sounds a lot better than Tusspot, doesn't it?)**

**Birthdate (MM/DD/YYYY):**

"Er, 2D, when's yer birthday?"

"May twenty-ferd."

"Uh-huh.."

"What year?"

"Nineteen nine-y seven.."

**Birthdate (MM/DD/YYYY): ****05/23/1997 **

**Medical concerns (if any): M****igraines,** -I looked at 2D for a second- **possible vision problems**

**Type of therapy needed: ****Physical [_], Speech [x], Mental [_]**

**Description of problem: ****Difficulty pronouncing double negatives, the 'th' sound, and hard 't' sound. Annoying voice.** (do you think that's professional enough? Oh well)

**Date: ****11/29/2012**

**Name of Parent/Guardian:**** Murdoc Niccals**

**Signature of parent/ Guardian: ****_Murdoc Niccals-_**

**Signature of patient:** -I passed the form to 2D and pointed to where I wanted him to sign it- **_2-D~ (Stuart Tusspot)_**

I glared at him for a moment.

"Yer a Niccals, not a Tusspot. Ya twit.." I said, mumbling the last part.

He scribbled out 'Tusspot' and wrote in my surname of 'Niccals'. I wrote out the rest of the sheet, and started to scan over it for things I missed.

"Ey Murdoc.." 2D interrupted "Why are we 'ere? An' wha' is 'tis place?"

I added a note about his apparent difficulty to pronounce the 'h' sound.

"Well 2D, we're a speech therapist. I'm gonna see what I can do about yer bleedin' accent!"

2D looked shocked and a bit hurt.

"Y-yew don' like me ac'ent?"

I panicked a little. He looked like he was about to cry! What was I to do?

"No No NO! Yer accent is just fine!" I lied.

"R-really?"

"Yeah.. I just want to see if we can improve yer singing by.. ya know.. toning it down a bit."

I'm not even sure if that was possible, but things would NOT work well if he started crying or yelling at me in here. That would be a mess which I'm not willing to clean up.

"Oh.." he said, looking confused "Okay then.."

"Er.. And do ya think you could not mention that yer a singer in a famous band, and that I hit ya with my car a few times?" I asked forcefully.

He nodded.

"Good." I mumbled.

I gathered the papers up and stood up. I walked over to the desk, and with a quick look at 2D, handed them to the receptionist. She took them from me, and told me that she would call me when the doctor was ready. I nodded and walked back over to 2D, who was back trying to solve the puzzle. He looked exceedingly frustrated. I looked at the puzzle, then the board it was support to fit in.

"2D, mate. This isn't the right board. Yew need that one, over there." I said, pointing to a nearby board.

Of corse he couldn't do the puzzle! I was under the impression he was just too stupid, but for once, that wasn't the case. I looked at 2D, and his frustration seemed to melt away. He actually looked relieved.

"Oh." was all I got from him.

I pulled the other board to him, and he quickly filled the puzzle in. He beamed triumphantly, then looked around for something else to do.

"Niccals, Stuart" the receptionist called.

We both stood up, and 2D began walking to the door marked 'Speech Therapy' when I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back. We needed to talk..about talking.

"Here's the deal. If you do yer little 'silent mode' here's what I'm gonna do: When we get home, imma go into the kitchen and make the greasyest, most protien-filled, calorie-dripping, fat coated meal I can. Then I'm gonna tie you to yer bed, and cram it down yer throat. _All of it._ Kapeesh?" I said threateningly.

2D's eyes widened, and he nodded feverishly.

"Okay then." I said, and let his sleeve go.

He walked towards the room, obviously quickening his pace to avoid walking next to me. I rolled my eyes at his antics and followed him into the room. The room had cream-white walls like the main room, but instead of a tan carpet, this one was a light blue. It was even thicker than the first, and I noticed my cuban heels leaving impressions in it. 2D's light little footsteps barely left anything at all, making me think of actually carrying out my threat of force-feeding him. Anorexic little twit.

In the corner of the room, a padded little desk sat, with a matching padded chair. On the desk I could see the documents I had just filled out, a coffee mug, and a Newton's cradle. In the nicely padded chair sat a portly man with a little spray of dark hair, and little glasses that magnified his eyes. In the middle of the room sat a few dark blue bean-bag chairs, and a stiff metal chair.

The man at the desk noticed at us, and smiled. His teeth were so perfect and white, I wanted to gag.

"Ah! Mr. Niccals, and...Mr. Niccals! Close the door and have a seat!" he said cheerily.

I walked over to the door and closed it. 2D just stood there.

"Since you both have the same last name, can I address you by your first names, or a nickname if you have one?" he asked politely.

"Er.. Just call me Mr. Niccals." I said.

If I had said Murdoc, the doctor might have realized that our names sounded familiar, and this whole 'operation' would fail.

"Uhm, can yew cal' me 2D?" 2D said.

The doctor gave him a wierd look, then gave me a questioning one. 2D seemed to pick up on this, and explained.

"Uh, all me friends cal' me tha', so mutch tha' I am more used to i' than Stuart."

"Alright then, 2D and Mr. Niccals. Why don't you have a seat?" the doctor said, and gestured to the beanbag chairs.

I sat down in one, but almost fell through. I was folded into the chair sort of like an umbrella, if you can picture that. I could hear 2D giggling at me, and I would have glared at him if I didn't have a face full of bean bags.

"Mr. Niccals, you can use the plastic chair if you would like."

I grunted and nodded. I tried to get out of the chair, but only got stuck further.

"Erk! 2D! 'Elp me!" I said, and stuck my hand out of the mess.

2D erupted in peals of laughter, but grabbed my hand and tugged me out. I nodded to him in silent thanks. He was smiling, and I somehow felt relieved he was happy.

"Alright then. Let's get started." the doctor said.

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**Alright! Another chapter out! I hoped you like it, and tell me if you have any ideas!**

**-morethanjustausername**


	4. Great job 2D, but didya havta break it?

**This chapter has a lot of dialogue in it. Just a fair warning. I also would like to advertise that I created a Gorillaz RP forum. Please use it, as it is brilliantly structured. Well.. of corse it is! I did it my self, after all. Please read the bottom authors note right now! You can always go back and read the chapter, but please take the time to read it! RIGHT NOW! Thank youu~**

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"I have a few exercises to determine the severity of 2D's vocal distress.." the doctor started.

"Uhhh... in english please?" I asked.

"That was in- oh never mind... Uhm.. I have a few er.. tests, to see what 2D needs help with."

Both 2D and I nodded in understanding. If he had just spoken in english the first time, we wouldn't have this kind of problem!

"Er, we never got yer name, doctor.."

"It's Doctor Knipple."

"Doctor.. what?"

"Knipple"

"What?"

"Knipple!"

"Heh.. Knipple.."

"Mature, Murdoc." I heard from 2D.

I shot him an angry glare and he yelped. Dr. Knipple looked at him oddly, then back to me. Yet, for some reason his look was a tad more accusational towards me. Damn 2D for always seeming so scared of me! It's not like I hit him...mutch. I walked over to him like it was the most natural thing in the world, and scruffed his hair up. I was really the best I could do to act 'fatherly' towards him.. Little twit.

Doctor Knipple's eyes softened. I would imagine this had something to do with my actions towards 2D, so maybe he was a family man?

"Uh... can we we get on with those tests? We have a..err... busy schedule."

"Of corse Mr. Niccals. 2D, are you ready?"

"I guess so, mistah Ni'pul."

The doctor leaned over to his desk, and reached for a paper. He was tipping precariously on his chair, and it took me everything I had not to tip him over, as his flab would defiantly make an amusing sound. He leaned forward again, and after adjusting his little spectacles, he went through them. He shuffled through them, and after glancing at the sheet I had earlier filled in a few times, he selected a few papers.

"Okay 2D, These papers have a few sentences on them, and I will need you to read them out loud. Mr. Niccals," he turned to me for a second. "You do not have to be present for this..."

"I'd rather be here for this." I responded.

"Okay then. These papers have larger print, as it was mentioned before that you may have vision problems.."

"Ah can see jus' fine!"

"Mmmm.. Any way.. Can you please read the first sentence? Do it as you normally would, please."

"Ohkay!" He paused for a moment. "Uhh.. T'e Fe'et foun' a bi'ah walnu' an' when e' bi' i', e' deci'ed th' he di'n' lik' i' one bi'!"

What? The doctor leaned over to me.

"I picked out a sentence that would detect his speech pattern the best. Do you want to know what he said?" he whispered to me.

"That was english?" I whisper-screamed.

"Of corse it was, Mr. Niccals!"

"Oh."

"Do you want to know what the sentence read?"

"Err.. yes, yes I do."

"The ferret found a bitter walnut, and when he bit it, he decided that he didn't like it one bit."

"That's what he actually said?"

"Yes."

I had a feeling that the doctor had memorised that particular sheet, because he sure as hell couldn't have understood whatever gibberish 2D just spewed out! Did 2D just not realize how odd he sounded? Doctor Knipple leaned over to his desk again, and I heard his chair groan in protest to the obvious stress it was being subjected to. The doctor retrieved a note pad, and scrawled a few notes on it.

"Very good, 2D. Now can you repeat after me?"

"Okay!"

"That.

"Tha'!"

"Something."

"Somefink!"

"Hurt."

" 'urt!"

"Okay, that's enough." the doctor concluded.

"Okay, tha's eenuf!" 2D said, not realizing the exercise was over.

"No, 2D, you don't need to repeat any more!"

"No 2D! Yew don' 'ave to re-peeeet an-"

"2D! SHUT YER FACE!"

The doctor and 2D both looked at me, each with varying degrees of surprise on their faces. 2D's grimy little face also sported a perfect spot to plant a bruise, and undiluted fear. Oh Satan, not this again! For the second - or was this the third?- time today 2D was about to cry. How was I supposed to keep up the father-son façade if he started crying?! I mean, really! He's fifteen!

"I'm sorry, Dr. Knipple. It seems my little Stu here can get a little carried away.." I said sweetly.

2D's panicked look morphed in to a look of horror. I guess he just wasn't used to me being nice, after the kidnapping* and all...

"Its fine. Your son here is really quite adorable, though. I'm sure the ladies at his school just love him..." he said, his face adopting a dreamy quality.

"Err.. yeah.."

"What school do you go to, 2D?" the doctor asked, unaware that the answer to this question would either make or break our operation.

"Uh.. I'm 'ome school'd. Me mum izza rita-eye-erd teecher." he said quickly.

I was acully pretty impressed. I mean, he must have thought of that lie pretty quick, because I didn't even think of that question! The plans I had to bruise his face quickly vaniished, and the thought as getting him some ice cream or something even crossed my mind. I quickly squashed it down, I may add. I am not acually this twit's father, so I had to stop thinking like one! I, Murdoc Niccals, would not go soft! Never!

But... was I?

"Yeah.. The wife is a wonderful woman, can we please get on with this session? I reall- I mean.. WE really don't have all day.."

"I think we are about finished here, Mr. Niccals. The simple solution is to wait untill your son's teeth grow in, and his speech impairment should go away quite quickly. Maybe even.." He paused for a moment, then snapped his fingers triumphantly. "In a snap! Haha hahaha ahahha!" he said, amused at his own joke.

"Err.. Doc'er? Mah teef were knock'd ou' in a ack-seh-dent... They won' gro' bac'... evah..." 2D said.

He seemed almost sad. I had no idea he cared about his teeth, or should I say, lack of teeth!

"Get a prosthetic then!" the doctor said, his voice tinged with annoyance.

"That is really the only solution! His speech impairment is due to the lack of teeth, as they con tribute to most crucial vocal sounds!"

We both looked at the doctor in a state of confusion. What did he jus-

"Wha' did yew jus' say?" 2D asked innocently, voicing my question.

Gotta love the kid.

"Oh dear lord... YOU NEED FAKE TEETH TO FIX YOUR BAD TALKING!" the doctor screamed.

2D backed up away from the doctor until he was standing beside me. He looked pretty freaked out, yet some how not surprised.

"Alright, 2D. It seems you broke another one. On the count of three.." I whispered, which he acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.

The good doctor was approaching us now, his face red and his fingers twitching in anticipation. His flushed face twitched, and his tiny little spectacles fell off his nose.

"One..."

"Two.."

"Three...**RUN!**"

And so we did.

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**A big huge thank you to Winnebago, for her/his awesome comment! You rock, and this chapter is dedicated to youu! I also apologise for the relative choppiness of this chapter, as I'm going through a rough time. **

**As for the random asterisk in the middle of the chapter:**

***= This is a little easter egg, if you will. This story is meant as a sister fic to Taken, not Borrowed, and this little easter egg has a bit to do with it. If you havn't read my other stories, you should! They all are on the same timeline, and all of them are good! **

**I do definatly reccomend reading Taken, not Borrowed though, as it is meant to happen before this story.**

**I need _at least_ 5 reviews for this chapter. At least. And I am also going through a rough time, so even if you weren't going to revew, please do! Getting that email saying I got a review really makes my day!**


	5. THANK YOU CHAPTER! (No story)

**Thank you all for being such great readers and reviewers! This story is my first completed muti-chapter fic, and I am very happy to have one less thing to update, that is, until I start on part 2... This story was getting really hard to continue, and the part where I left off is the perfect stopping point! I have been on this website for about a year, and the attention I have gotten from you guys has been so fantastic, I am so grateful!**

**I would like to thank all of my reviewers!**

**Jilli11, cooliochick5, The Peanut Butter, doodlekiss, Chidori99, Classicsrule, Mentalcase50, IAmTheRedOne, DemonDazed, Mordeshawn, Dr. Meowgon Spengler, suckishLEMONADE, the mom, toon, razzlefrazzle, Roxas Phantomhive, Zombilon, Rinoku, and Anon!**

**Also, thank you Anon for being the only person to wish me well, that really made my day.**

**Extra-special thanks to doodlekiss, Chidori99, cooliochick15 and Mentalcase50 for reviewing every chapter! I love you guys!**

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**I'm really sorry this chapter has no story to it, I just felt that everyone needed to be recognised!**

**Wow, now I feel really lame for not posting a real chapter.**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH 3 THANK YOU FOR TOLERATING ME!**

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**ATTENTION!**

**There is a zombie walk on august 17 in Vancouver bc, and if you live in the area, please go! In one of my upcoming stories, I will announce an area we can all meet and greet! Please, if you can come! I will be dressed as a zombie 2D, hopefully not the only one!**

**I will do this closer to the date, once the route has been announced!**

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**Again, I love you all so much!**

**-morethanjustausername**

**(Azure)**


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